| My Presidential Announcement Part 1 |
| Written by Lloyds Apple | |
| Wednesday, March 2008 | |
I think I could be our first Independent President.![]() Vroom, Vroom.... I can't help but engage in "if I lived another life" thoughts. In my pretend other life I would have tried harder in high school, joined the military and then went on to college, majoring in political science. Instead, I breezed through high school and college, slithering my way through the system without an ultimate direction-at least until I graduated. But as it stands, I still value what I've learned and who I've learned from-especially my friends and family. Look at me, all grown up. Despite my nonchalant attitude towards my educational institution and a couple of my addictive vices, I take comfort in knowing what I'm all about. That's why despite my never picking up a gun and aiming it at another human being, I'm ready to announce my candidacy for the 2020 presidential election. Now, this could possibly be delayed until 2024 but either way I'll fall between the ages of 38-42; still young enough to have enough balls to change the system assuming it needs changing. What qualifies me for president? Right now, not too much but I have 12-16 years to change all of that. Currently, I can hold an intellectual conversation, possibly surprising a few intellectual snobs who don't expect much of me. I can sniff out a bull shitter, combining street smarts with an innate sixth sense of how a collective audience may "feel" about something. I can lead or I can follow and have a "GET SHIT DONE" attitude. Sounds pretty good, eh? Exactly, now let's move onto a few of my social stances, as the particulars are not going to be known for a few years now since we don't know what will need formed, reformed and rehabilitated. LEGALIZE IT This is the potheads crying call but "legalize it" goes far beyond just blazing. I say legalize all drugs. Legalize it, tax it, clear our jails of addicts and spend that money for treatment. This will reduce crime, drug dealing and the "us vs. them" mentality that exists within colleges, inner-city streets and everywhere in-between. It is also my firm belief that it will also reduce the number of drug addicts in America, as it will no longer be illegal and thus far less sexy and treatment programs will accurately address who is addicted to what---just check out credit card receipts! Violent crime will go down and we can use the tax dollars to improve our health care system, schools and public transportation systems. It's a common sense approach that truly symbolizes the "freedom" and puts faith in the every-day people who live in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Land of the FREE, home of the BRAVE! Prostitution fall under the legalize it header as well for many of the same reasons. Eliminate the abusive, money grubbing pimp. Let Uncle Sam collect the tax dollars and give it to those who need it most. A legalized form of prostitution would again cut down or eliminate the spread of STD's and it would make it much harder for husbands to cheat on their wives, as a monthly bill would arrive that would be hard to explain. Corrupt false logic and morality built around ignorant ideals are what keeps the oldest profession, ever, from being legalized. The more one intelligently debates our current approaches to natural tendencies within a culture, the more one realizes our system is absurd. We don't eliminate anything; we only send people to jail and in the process create rich thugs who thrive off of illegal power. Gambling-downloading-guns---I'm not scared! Let's do it. Did I mention Public Transportation? As much as I love concrete jungles, the cost of gasoline, road maintenance and destruction of our planet earth why do we feel the need to destroy everything? In Japan people ride Bullet Trains, which are high speed trains that connect to all the major cities. Living in Florida, I've never been able to figure out why the hell there is not a bullet train connection from Miami, to Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville and leading all the way up to New York City. This would save time, money, gas and be much safer than any current means of transportation. It's sad that we can't get our shit together, especially today with oil price sky rocketing and the never ending war going on in the Middle East. More presidency tidbits to come soon. Comments (0)
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